Voices

All my poems have come through me since I’ve been going through the process of transformation.  This process takes time and doesn’t happen over night or a matter of days or even months.  I’m like the majority of the people and want a quick fix or for someone to waive a magic wand over me and say, you are healed from all your fears and emotional pain.  Since I have free will, the magic wouldn’t last long.

I’m like a small forty something year old tree with deep roots.  This tree bears fruit, which falls to the ground before it has the chance to ripen into beautiful sweet fruit.  I needed an arborist to help me get to the root of the matter so my fruit could stay on the branches and receive the nutrients they needed.  I’m seeing and experiencing joy through my journey as well as witnessing my changes and I know there are more to come.

I’ve learned I’m the first recipient of my writing.  Many times I’d file my poems away not realizing I had been given a gift.  The gift is, Pam, this is what your working on and becoming aware of; this is part of your process of changing and the answers to your questions… How can you love someone one minute and can’t stand them the next and Why is life such a struggle.  My poems are the answers to my prayers…Let me be a blessing to those who come up to me and help me send love to all those who come to me.   I now see I couldn’t be a blessing and an expression of love if I didn’t love and approve of myself.  My poems as well as my paintings would not have come forth if my spiritual mentor hadn’t constantly encouraged me to write and paint.  This person has helped me receive the answers to my questions and prayers.

Becoming aware of the chatter in my head as well as my feelings are the keys to help me on my journey to freedom.

Voices 

My voice of fear has kept me paralyzed

It’s a voice inside my head that I have given power

As I project my thoughts, words and feelings,

my voice of fear destroys my dreams

My voice of fear has a name, which I call my ego

My ego is a false me that I believe is real

My ego only knows of fear, separation and evil

My ego believes in guilt and punishment

My ego defends, lies, changes the story, denies and justifies

in order to be right and kept from punishment

My ego condemns others so I’m not the only one who appears unacceptable

My voice of fear uses my addictions to seek love and approval

I believe my addictions will ease my pain

Then I don’t have to feel

My emotional pain is gone for a while before the feeling of pain is back

My ego is always thinking and doesn’t like silence

My voice of fear doesn’t like to be the only one who feels pain

I inflict pain on others

My ego isn’t the only voice; I have another voice that surface at times

My other voice seems faint and not as loud

I’ve learned my ego likes to drown my other voice out

My other voice speaks from my true self, which is an extension of the Creator

My true self speaks to me from love because love is what I am

Love is our Creator and I was created in the same image

Our Creator creates from thoughts and feelings, therefore so do I

My thoughts, feelings and actions come from my true self or my ego

My voice of fear can have less control with the willingness to learn new truths

These new truths have to be practiced with determination and

then my fearful world can begin to change

I must be willing to recognize which voice I’m listening to

my voice of fear or the voice of Love

The more I choose to listen, accept guidance; along with being

obedient from the voice of Love, my ego will diminish

The voice of Love helps me live from peace and joy

~Pam Holzknecht

4 thoughts on “Voices

  1. I am grateful to the person who’s helped me become aware of the two different voices in my mind. I believe if children were taught about these two voices…could help change in how they view themselves, others, happier and eager learners, as well as understanding why we act and behave the way we do. Then maybe they could teach their parents…lol

    1. Good evening Perpetua. Wonderful! I believe the younger…then perhaps their minds are more open. I liked your blog and the photo was cute! 🙂

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