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The Gift of Feeling

Over the past few years, I’ve been practicing on being aware of my feelings.  Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes I fall back in to my old pattern of pushing them away and turning to my addictions of perfectionism, defenses and excuses.  I’ve been given a truth, which is, my feelings are the doorway to my freedom.  One may ask freedom of what; free of emotional pain, free of judgments toward others and myself, free to live from peace instead of turmoil, free to give and love unconditionally and free to live my life from joy and not fear.

When we are babies we communicate by our feelings and thank goodness or we would be living life like zombies.  A baby eats, poops, and sleeps, cries and laughs.  All these actions stem from feeling.  As a baby grows into the toddler stage, he or she wants to learn, be independent, begins to form words and continues to express them self through feelings.  Some where along our childhood we’ll have experiences that cause us to feel negative feelings such as humiliated, rejected, ashamed, terrified, nervous and… Feelings are a form of energy, which we cannot see and this energy must go somewhere.  I’ve learned feelings are expressed outward or stay inward (the body).  At the moment my first recollection of feeling rejected and believing I’m unworthy was around 8 or 9 years of age.

We were created with the ability to feel, which I now see as a gift.  My feelings  help me understand what I’m thinking and believing before I act.  I must be present in order to be in touch with what I’m feeling.  When I’m aware of my feelings, I can find out what I’m thinking because my thoughts and beliefs are the cause to what I’m feeling (thought, feeling, action).  If I’m aware of my feelings, I have a choice on how I’m going to act.  Most of my life I’ve been thinking and reacting, which has brought me emotional pain.  Here’s an example of when I was in high school, my sophomore or junior year.  I have a sister who is 15 months older than me and while growing up, we where only a year apart in school.  I looked up to my sister and many times wished I was like her because she’s pretty, in my eyes things appeared to come easy and naturally for her, she had many friends, could put on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and look great, she didn’t have to wear braces and I don’t remember her ever having a pimple, she is smart, out going and confident.  I saw myself as the opposite of her.  One day while walking through the halls as we were changing classes my sister was leaning up against the lockers talking to her girlfriends.  I walked by and said, Hi as I called her by name.  She looked at me with no response.  I remember having certain negative feelings.  I’ve learned we can always go back to an experience and perhaps feel what we felt at that moment, which I’ve done.  By going back to the incident and feeling, I’ve been able to ask myself what do I believe after feeling, resentful, rejected, embarrassed, disappointed and…my answer…I’m not good enough to be acknowledged.  When we accept a belief we are consciously and unconsciously feeding the belief and the more one reinforces the belief the stronger the belief becomes.  Our beliefs will sabotage our hearts desires and can keep us from achieving and having what we want.  Breaking the belief of unworthiness, which has been nurtured for years takes work.  Each time negative feelings come up for me, I’m given an opportunity to uncover a belief that doesn’t support me and keeps me from knowing my true self, which is love.

Going back and reliving that high school experience has helped me in many ways through my emotional healing.  I see how I’ve pushed my sister away because of my beliefs of not being loved and accepted by her.  That day in high school, I don’t know why my sister didn’t respond.  What matters is my perception of believing I’m not good enough.  I took her reaction personally and I assumed.  And at the age I was, I could have very easily had a few choice words going through my mind about her.  I had help reliving this experience and I’ve come to understand forgiveness is about forgiving yourself, not about the other person forgiving you.  I’ve had to do much forgiveness work on myself as I look at my beliefs and revisit experiences.  I also see that compassion is a must with oneself.  While I’m on my journey of healing, I’ve been given opportunities to express compassion and this has been wonderful.  When one has felt their own pain then compassion can be expressed to others.  So remember to FEEL and when your willing to feel, you can uncover what you’re thinking and believing.  After you uncover what you’re thinking then tell yourself something different, such as I love and accept myself. ♥

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5 thoughts on “The Gift of Feeling

  1. Hello Pam
    Thank you for visiting our blog, and the like on our post about “Why we travel”.
    I love this post and have lived by it since I read “Seth Speaks” in 1984. One of the stand-out phrases from that book, which stuck with me is “feel your feelings. It will set you free” so I lived by that, and discovered it’s true.
    (I too have a sister only 15 months older who in school was just like you’ve described yours. I too had a momentary interaction with her in school one day that lead to me developing a fake outer personality. Oh the things we do to ourselves. Now she’s grown, and I’ve grown and we’re the best of friends.)
    I’ve read some of your other posts. I think I could go through your blog and “like” every one.
    Blessings
    Alison xoxox

    1. Thank you Alison! I’ve been on my spiritual and transformation journey for only a few years and I’ll continue until the day I physically leave here. I’m learning to undo beliefs and patterns and be willing to feel…this hasn’t been easier for me although I find the more I’m willing to look at my beliefs, patterns and feel the easier life becomes and the more peace I experience. How wonderful for the friendship you and your sister have! oxox

  2. Yeah, those pesky beliefs! Most of which we don’t even know are just beliefs, we think they’re the truth. I’ve spent a lifetime questioning and bit by bit discarding all the “truths” that kept me in limitation. It’s an ongoing process, but stuff like that gets very little traction these days.
    How blessed we are to have this arise within us. What a huge gift from the Mystery that we explore ourselves in this way, that we reach for freedom. Not everyone does.
    xoxox

  3. I had never thought to pause that feelings could help us to THINK before we ACT. Indeed. This is an interesting post, to me – set me thinking. Great stuff.

    1. Thank you. I’ve learned and see that feelings are just feelings. They do not have control over us although at times we let them such as feelings of depression, hatred, anger and…I’ve heard that it takes 90 seconds to let the feeling pass, so when needed, I practice, feeling, breathe ask myself questions (what do I believe and after I hear the answer, ask to this differently). Remember thought always comes before a feeling. I was living my life thinking and reacting not feeling. I continue to practice being aware of my feelings. One of the greatest gifts we can teach our children is about feelings. Help them understand feelings and help them uncover why they are feeling a particular way…because of their thoughts, help them recognize their thoughts that are causing the negative feelings. More than likely the thought has to do with believing we aren’t loved and accepted, which is a lie because we were all created from Love and accepted.

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