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Relentless Chatter

Before I met my spiritual teacher, I never paid attention to the chatter in my head.  There have been a couple of times in my life when I recall asking myself; why did I have that thought and remembering not wanting to share the thought I heard because someone might think I’m crazy.  In fact, what I heard was an insane thought.  As I look back, I can see I was living my life unaware of this voice constantly talking inside of my head.  Although I have a little less chatter in my head, I continue to practice being present throughout my day and my intention is to only hear the voice of my higher consciousness.  If I choose, I can receive and act on the guidance I hear from the Creator. I am either thinking, feeling and acting from my lower self or from my higher self.  My lower self is my ego and my higher self is connected to the Creator.

The crazy chatter in my head comes from my ego voice.  My ego is always thinking of the past or future, rehashing an argument, feeling fear, judging another and myself, thinking of all the things I have to do and many times my ego is thinking about things I don’t want to experience and worried about.  My ego voice talks and distracts me while another person is physically speaking to me. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you do not remember what he or she said, I have.  My ego was having her own conversation in her head while the other person was talking to me.  Many times this happens when I’m not in agreement with what the other person is saying and I want to be right about my convictions and or because this is what I’ve done since I was a child.  I didn’t learn how to be present or aware that the voice in my head was keeping me from learning, being successful as well as accepting and loving myself.

When we become aware of our ego chatter, we can learn much about ourselves such as beliefs we’re holding onto that aren’t supportive to our true being, like the need to be right or wanting to be a victim or believing you’re not good enough or cannot do something or seeking from another in order to feel love and acceptance.  Our ego doesn’t want us to become strong and confident in all areas of our lives.  Our ego wants to blame, have excuses, believes others are responsible for our actions and feelings, seeks love and acceptance from others and will do whatever to get love and acceptance, puts others down in order to appear better, and our ego manipulates by projecting his or her beliefs onto others.  Our ego likes to sweep things under the rug in order to appear clean and pretty.  Our ego thinks and then reacts.  Our ego doesn’t want to feel and will do anything to keep from feeling emotional pain so our ego will become addicted to things and habits.

One can begin to relinquish their ego by becoming aware of their thoughts, beliefs and patterns.  I’ve had help and I’ve realized this takes courage to be able to look at oneself, to get naked, lift up the rug and look at all the dirt.  Your greatest teachers are the ones you live with and around the most.  These wonderful people are showing you your beliefs.  Even when you don’t think they are so wonderful, they are handing you a gift because they are showing you a belief you have toward yourself.  I use to judge my husband for not answering a question when asked.  I learned I do the same thing!  I judged some women for not being good mothers and this began with me judging myself for believing I’m not being a good mother.  Anytime one has a judgment against another they’ve judged themselves first.  If there is anything you do not like about another, they are showing you what you do not like about yourself.  Our Creator couldn’t have made it simpler than this. Everything you admire about someone is within you and everything you do not like about another is a reflection of yourself.

To be continued….

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